The Cancer Years: December 2020

Update 28 December 2020 - Three year Cancer-versary

It was three years today that I woke up at my sister’s place and my brother-in-law told me that the CT scan showed I had fibrosis around my esophagus, tumours in my lungs and liver and metastases in my bones. That was such an absolute shock that I dropped an f-bomb, something rarely heard in their Christian household.

In the days and weeks that followed, as I went through the medical processes, I sought to process this startling development. I was convinced I would die within weeks or months and spoke with my siblings about administrative details, assets etc (without giving passwords because I am dying, not crazy).

But after many medical appointments and treatments, ups and downs, hopes and disappointments, here I am 3 years later. Still alive and still feeling reasonably healthy.

Since I last wrote, I have continued with the oral chemo and the initial reaction from the oncologist based on blood tests was positive. I had a CT scan at the end of November which provided some some good news. The scan was not entirely clear but which it did show that there was no progression in the lungs. However, it also showed that the metastases in the bones have progressed. :/ I’ll have to talk to the oncologist to see if anything more can be done for the bones. I can get radiation but that is only for pain relief. It doesn’t necessarily get rid of the cancer cells.

Overall, though, I feel stronger and more energetic than I did earlier in the year apart from the odd aches and pains due to the disease or aging. It is still a struggle to gain weight, particularly because of the reflux, but I still have an appetite and eagerness to eat. The upside is that I am able to embrace a fat-filled diet. Yoghurt with 10% fat, full fat sour cream, ice cream and anything with butter - bring it on. My hair is growing back — with a vengeance, it seems, requiring some strategic waxing and clipping. My head is definitely warmer with some insulation on top although I still wear a light cap most of the time to avoid a chill.

Other than that, things have been very quiet, including over Christmas. I spent Christmas Day with Verla and Randy (all in our pjs) and we opened gifts, watched movies, played games and had a lovely turkey dinner. We had made fruitcake again this year, along with tarts and cookies, and also made a carrot pudding, something our mother used to make when we were younger. We were too full to have it on Christmas Day so we enjoyed it last night.

I expect that New Year’s Eve will be similarly low-key apart from the nearby fireworks display, which Ginger does not enjoy. Like many of you, I will take the opportunity to reflect on 2020, with all its challenges and benefits to our lives, and our hopes for 2021 (including a vaccine).

And with that, I wish you the very best for the New Year!

Deborah