Update September 2019 - Stories, pictures and other proof of life
First things first, the medical update. I had a CT and bone scans recently. When I met with the oncologist last week he said that the tumours have not progressed (though no indication whether they had shrunk) and the bones seem to be stronger. I will continue taking the chemo treatment until early 2020 when there will another assessment.
I was happy with the results but, quite honestly, felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. And it did this week. I mentioned to the oncologist that I was tripping a bit because of the neuropathy in my feet. After I left the appointment, his nurse called to arrange a head scan. I thought he was being cautious in case there was a brain tumour but I wasn’t worried. This week, though, I read the report of the appointment and it turns out that there may be a spot on my frontal lobe area. I should know more in a couple of weeks but it would definitely not be great news if there is something on the skull or in the brain.
Anyway, since March, I have received the chemo drug taxol once a week for three weeks followed by one week off. The side effects worsened over the months, with neuropathy (loss of feeing in hands and feet), shortness of breath, and insomnia, as well as some thickening skin. My oncologist suggested taking a break and reducing the dosage. That was a good decision as it has reduced some of the side effects.
During this time off, I went to NYC to visit friends and spend time in the city where I lived for 2 years and which I have visited since 1994. It is definitely a different place to visit when you don’t have the high level of energy. NYC - the city that never sleeps and, apparently, walks everywhere. Verla was incredibly patient, waiting for me as I caught my breath at the end of each block.
The highlights were seeing the Harry Potter show on Broadway, as well as Klimt’s Portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer (Woman in Gold) painting at the Neue Galleri. For those who have not seen the Helen Mirren movie about the painting, I recommend it. The Neue Galleri has a wonderful Viennese cafe which we enjoyed. We also had lunch one day at the Met where Verla thought she saw Amy Schumer (could’ve been her). We also did some fun tacky tourist things such as the double-decker bus tour. All in all a great trip and wonderful break from my chemo life.
Again this year, we rented a cabin for four weeks in July/Aug which was lovely. I did little other than sleep, eat, read and play games on the deck. It was a pretty amazing time, even during the colder days.
Since then, I’ve been trying to take advantage of the summer season with travels and other activities. I visited friends at their island (yes, their island) in northern Ontario and spent even more time resting, relaxing and recuperating from chemo. This past weekend, I went to the Waskesiu film festival to meet up with friends, including some from Ottawa. Actually, I’ve been been lucky to have lots of family and friends visiting these past months. I really do appreciate the effort these people made to come to Prince Albert (or even further north) - it means a lot to me.
In this world of inter-connectedness, it is somewhat reassuring that rumours still can run rampant. Apparently there was a rumour amongst some government people that I had died. People, I will die (newsflash - we all will), just not now or for a while. I assume it will be gradual so you should have some notice unless I get hit by a bus, I suppose. In the meantime, I plan to continue blogging as I continue down this journey, the good, the bad and the ugly. I have lots of friends and relatives and assure you that notices will be put up on FB and this blog when the time does come.
A local indigenous newspaper did a story about me a few months ago. It’s not how I would have written or edited it, but it was good press.
https://www.eaglefeathernews.com/education/ahtahkakoop-womans-dreams-and-determination-took-her-around-the-world?platform=hootsuite
I read this amazing book called “The End if Your Life Book Club” by Will Schwalbe. The author and his mother start a book club after she’s been diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer. It’s about life and dying but also about books and how we love them and learn from them.
“Mom taught me not to look away from the worst but to believe that we can all do better. She never wavered in her conviction that books are the most powerful tool in the human arsenal, that reading all kinds of books, in whatever format you choose - electronic (even though that wasn’t for her) or printed or audio - is the grandest entertainment, and also is how you take part in the human conversation. Mom taught me that you can make a difference in the world and that books really do matter: they’re how we know what we need to do in life, and how we tell others. Mom also showed me, over the course of two years and dozens of books and hundreds of hours in hospitals, that books can be how we get closer to each other, and stay close, even in the case of a mother and son who were very close to each other to begin with, and even after one of them has died.“
I cried at the end of the book after - spoiler alert - the mother died. Not so much because I could see myself In that situation (though there is always a bit of that) but because I felt that I had come to know the author and the mother he loved and was proud of. And I mourned her death. And, my friends, therein lies the power of books. That your life can feel richer, sadder, or whatever after delving into the lives of fictional or real people through a book and connecting with them.
Myths about metastatic breast cancer
Articles about “beating” cancer.
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This comment was made by someone in one of the cancer FB groups that I belong to. My thoughts exactly,
“Interesting article. I shared on my timeline as well. I don’t want people to say I lost my battle or I didn’t fight hard enough. What is there to fight? You take your pills, get your shots, and hope it works. That’s it. I once read someone’s post about a family member who passed from cancer and they wrote “she fought, but she didn’t fight hard enough” next time someone says that I’m going to ask them how one “fights” hard enough. Because if there’s a secret out there, I’d love to know! 🤣”
What are we afraid of? Death
Colette and I took the train to Wakaw!
My sisters who both have had breast cancer, and my niece who is going through it at this time.
My brother
Our friend from primary school in BC and her mother (our god-mother).
Nephews putting on quite a show.
Assorted visitors at the cabin August long weekend.
Les visits PA
Visit with Kerry and family at Tyson lake for rest, relaxation, Scrabble and euchre.
Northern Ontario is beautiful
Graham and Melanie at Waskesiu film festival.
